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The tide that binds hasn’t always had its place. How souls must be lost in a mesh of forsaken words or unable to turn a page? The backlash of another where it didn’t have its place told tales of a thousand words in oblivious attempts to hinder the suffering of their own souls. A thousand words too many came from a forsaken place or unable to turn a page.
Words warrant to another didn’t have its place. Countless times in the ruins of chaos, the mighty tongue of another sliced at the hearts of others unable to turn a page while it battled to find its place.
Chaos at its best becomes words of many; ten folds too many so to speak. Turning a page with the mass of many becomes the ultimate destruction that turns tides into withered storms. The backlash of a storm at its best becomes a category 5; a chaotic rumpus turns nights into days. How do words that carry no merit among tides wither away to a forsaken place?
The backlash of ten folds continues on while the tide binds in a chaotic mesh. Back and forth the words of haste continue barreling down at another. Over and over words began to stumble over one another. Fumble back and forth; stamping on everything in its path.
Rampage carries on, cursing back and forth to any forsaken ear that would quiet ones mind. Mass destruction at its best will cycle any which way it can go. Chaos at its best will continue slamming a book shut and unable to turn a page.
A fierce haste in the eyes of another is damaging at its best. Pacing back and forth, slamming doors till ears burst!! Foul a mood with their vigilante ways, slam a book shut; slam a door any which way it will go. The fury blood of another condemns hatred of another.
How long must rage carry on till the voice of another is truly heard? The sorrows of a poor soul withers away with haste may condemn their own soul. Falling silent behind every door slammed; slamming a book shut or tears a page. Souls that are damned in a fiery rage cannot soothe their own souls. One can slam a thousand doors or burn a book to prevent it from turning a page and still not be heard from the racing mind within.
The mind of a chaotic rumpus is a silent destruction and unable to voice its troubled soul or turn a page. A mind that races with time unable to neither slow itself down, nor can it quiet itself till the soul truly understands itself.
The rage; those cycles may be repetitive at its best, turning a page may have falling still at its best. The rage within while slamming doors cannot be heard. One can slam ten thousand doors and still not be heard. Walk a plank or pace back and forth only to ravage the tide at its best. Throw a thousand loose pages from a book into the tide that binds and still fall silent, unable to be heard.
The chaotic ruins within can only reflect from the view of one’s own eyes. The heart falls silent from emotions stirring up inside.
Copyright © 2014 by Marsha Beede
When it rains”
When it rains it sometimes pours…
If it were raindrops falling on my head I’d find my friend, my companion, my greatest strength near.
If the rain were steady and thunder cast lightning I’d hear his voice whisper subtle in my ear saying “this too shall pass.”
Days of thunder can appear with such madness. Whereas he can be found near with such comfort of warm gentle hands, a hug to keep the storms formation away from one’s demise.
Perhaps God’s will silenced the withering storm as it unsurpassed the pastures left behind unscathed. The storm that could have flooded the earth now surrenders to the sound of harmony under a willow tree from afar.
It is there he sat under this old willow tree looking up into the sky as the clouds lifted. The glimmer of sun shines through the scatter clouds as the storm settled embarked onto another journey.
It is there under this willow tree he rested, waiting, anticipating my arrival from afar left undone, dry in the musk left behind.
I walk this distance from afar and sat next to him with my head leaned into his shoulder. I closed my eyes as he placed his hand gently on mine and said “the storm has passed yet another day.”
(1) Minnesota Fact on Hospice, In-Home Care and Nursing Homes for those over the age of 55 years of age. While government tax cuts would be awesome it does come with a deficit. You cannot have tax cut without budget cuts.
Minnesota and many other States have passed legislation over the years on State funding for those over the age of 55 whom are in need of long-term care and/or hospice.
While some may be misinformed, that deficit in care through STATE and FEDERAL funded care CURRENTLY MANDATES FAMILIES to pay the STATE back if YOUR LOVE ONE COULDN’T PAY or INSURANCE didn’t cover cost.
THIS implies that your SPOUSE, your CHILDREN, your BROTHERS, SISTERS and PARENTS inherit the BILL, DEFICIT, DEBT of your love one.
The STATE and GOVERNMENT has authority to GARNISH YOUR WAGES to pay off your love ones debt; GARNISH YOUR TAX REBATES, YOUR ASSETS, TAKE YOUR HOME, YOUR CAR, ANYTHING OF VALUE.
Wake Up America, Tax Reform and Repeal and Replace of Healthcare will add more burden to families under Trump Administration. Get involved, know your rights and pay attention to legislation written on paper, NOT the news media…
Follow https://marshabeedematrix.com to learn more
Who’s lurking behind your Profile…?
Not too long ago Monster quietly purchased Recruitment Process Outsourcing (RPO) provider TalentFusion. TalentFusion’s RPO experience augments Monster’s technology, global footprint and large customer base. This combination gives Monster/TalentFusion a number of powerful synergies to exploit.
Available on Amazon Kindle ebooks
“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion and desire”
Spirituality as we know comes in many forms through core values, exposure, personalization, ethnic, culture, religion, beliefs, etc.
Spirituality is within a person’s inner source, intuitive thoughts and how one might perceive things in life.
Elements within a person’s core values may reflect traditional methods through integration and/or congregation within one’s own habitat. One may choose to surround themselves in a manner of how one perceives life’s spiritual values.
Where the wheel spins within ones thoughts and human behavior, actions form in regards as to how a person responds to circumstances in life and at times bring more spirituality into life in such divine ways.
Cause & Effect:
Circumstances within cause and effect may compellingly choose to respond with or without engaging in some form of action. Cause and effect may acknowledge its existence in an underlining source subconsciously.
Through subconscious awareness one may link in some sort of inner source; connective thoughts lay down a foundation of complexity placed within itself. Sometimes collective thoughts may form visions about life, one where most people are better in the abstract of a mindset formation as to how one wishes things to be.
However disarray may at times mimic a cluster of personal distress and how one function in everyday life. At times during emotional distress one might feel as life has become an avalanche.
One where everyday stress may build-and-build until it all unfolds; pours out in a colossal mess…
Cause and effect through turbulent emotions may at times linger or fester and lead to explosive reactions when things to become bothersome.
Someone once said “it comes in a can.” This implies at times one can become stuck reminiscing, ruminating and over-thinking situations by setting the stage and making things appears worse than they really are. At times this may create problems that were never there to begin with. Almost as if one were to mix magnesium sulfate with soda to calm a storm.
However, staying in the present moment and not allowing things to unfold in the heat of moment can lead to more positive outcomes. But also learning to stay mindful with reminders to not let things become bothersome and spiral downward by placing defensive reactions out of an alarming emotional response. Reminders to not to over-think; explaining the same thing 5 different ways.
Finding balance in life will be the most beneficial element to achieving respite within. Most of us will spend a lifetime searching for this. Life doesn’t come with instructions and neither does balancing our everyday lives. But through our own trial and error we can adopt readiness guided by willingness to make personal change.
Conditioned to Crisis:
A crisis can condition a person to stray far from stabilization in any manner within cause and effect, creating an avalanche effect that may continue to build regardless.
Many individuals at one time or another have come across circumstances in their lives that sent them on a mission in an overwhelming emotional state. This doesn’t necessarily change or modify another person’s elevated emotional state of mind, but rather dysfunction may occur.
One may at times mimic or draw conclusions to reflect on their own emotional response, conditioned through a belief system right down to personal and core values.
One may find within their own personal habitat that their own state of mind may react spontaneously to a crisis mode (often referred to as a rescue mode).
Perhaps worrisome thoughts have captured an emotional response and created a downward spiral of emotions flooding in a state of panic towards one’s spouse, family member or a loved one. In a state of panic (rescue mode) to rid unwanted emotions or problem solve we sometimes become compelled in stressful situations to place ourselves in the driver’s seat of a vehicle, only to find that one is in overdrive with their foot floored to the gas pedal based in a state of fear to React! Respond! Do Something!
The Impact Effect:
Many individuals at one time or another have come across circumstances in their lives that sent them on a mission prompted by emotional state of reaction to current events.
At times current events may have unfolded in our community or around the world, leaving a reaction of overwhelming emotional response prompted by chain of events. The cause and effect reactions to how one may feel about presumable actions or a crisis in current events that may prompt a reaction within one’s own emotional state of being.
Unfortunately prompted in a crisis mode in current events we may at times unintentionally create more havoc.
Spirituality in the Making:
Perhaps a loved one has been ill with a serious medical condition and you find yourself facing fears head on. Maybe it’s a friend having a difficult time managing his/hers mental health distress or perhaps it is someone close to you fighting a drug/alcohol addiction and you feel absolutely powerless to do anything.
In any state of being it can be difficult to carry someone close to one’s heart who inflicts emotional harm onto themselves or others, leaving one to be unable to receive a healthier connection.
In some cases where one’s spiritual beliefs may be in distress and broken down. It can be difficult for a loved one to comprehend the impact of cause and effect. To learn to set aside differences because each person is unique to their own core values when it comes to spirituality.
At times it is necessary to place one’s own spiritual beliefs aside; to be checked in and left at the front door. Individuality creates each person to uniquely define their own core values; their own belief system.
At times ones spiritual beliefs may lead one to believe notions through spiritual entity to be the only path in such divine ways. Ultimately by engaging in a sense of notions disagreeable to another may prompt one to create actions that may do more harm than good.
Most often relationships become much more wholesome when a person can relate on a more personal level without judgments and lack thereof the use of words that may hinder a person’s ability to feel validation.
Validation is crucial part of communication when it comes to a healthier connection. Whereas one being empathetic in comparison isn’t because it may become misguided words.
Things in life aren’t intended to be all-or-nothing; black-or-white. There are many shades of gray to lay down a healthy foundation in one’s life.
Spirituality Right Down to the Core:
If I were to use addiction as an example with someone struggling to find reasons to believe things will get better. Most often a person’s addiction can spiral into a path of destruction, leaving one’s self-worth, personal core values to plummet downward.
One’s spirituality may have already been hindered collectively through emotional duress without the ability to reason and/or see things differently.
For some spirituality may falter so far that even an avalanche couldn’t persuade one to find shelter.
“It is often said when it comes to addictions, mental illness, health conditions one may strive at a bare minimal in times of struggles. One’s ability to maintain a faction of hope strays far, just enough to keep a person on solid ground and living moment-by-moment in any given circumstances where there are shadows of doubts…”
Copyright © by Marsha Beede 2016
All Rights Reserved
Follow @ http://marshabeedematrix.com
Dear Unforeseen Circumstances,
Life can create such difficulties and barriers…
When one can find a place within to allow yourself to embrace life by allowing feelings and emotions to wash away as it whisper’s to you in such divine ways…
Giving yourself a greater strength and courage to allow one to realize that everything else in between simply won’t matter…
We can’t change somethings in life when they are beyond ones control, nor can you change others, the past or future predicaments…
Allow yourself to step back and breath, don’t carry so much heartache, pain and place so much duress on one’s soul within circumstances beyond ones control…
Be grateful for what is; not what could have been, nor ponder on worries about things that haven’t happened…
Leave ones troubled heart to a source greater than yourself and put it to rest…
Life can create such divine interventions when you need it most, even in times when one may not realize it until it has already been placed in ones frontal plain view…
It’s OK to say “today isn’t a good day for me”. We are given a greater gift to wake upon a new day and start once again.
“Good things happen from time-to-time; Great things happen all at once…”
Copyright © 2015 by Marsha Beede.
All Rights Reserved.
Through my rocky rigid ways…
My once shard love
As my guiding angel of soul
She has shown love through the barriers
She has seen my formidable place
And shattered that wall with grace
The grace of a sister’s love
Has never lost this insane place
In the mind of a chaotic rumpus
In an unfortunate place of becoming
Her love was always recognized…
》》》Just as her soul followed me everywhere. It was her love I felt while I sensed her presence. My soul would embark throughout life’s journey like the rushing currents of a rivers mighty flow.
Life sent me treading water through the currents of mighty rivers. At times life’s mighty rivers unraveled through dangerous storms.
I swam through the currents of rushing water. The glitter sunlight would blind me as I swam upstream far too many times. Days of dismay sent me through flash floods I couldn’t have possibly foreseen.
While I struggled to find my way,
there she stood like a guardian angel.
She would signaled me her way with a sense insight while I swam through the currents of dangerous rushing waters.
With each breath I took, I found strength from within. I glanced far above as she shined from a distance. I continued to travel the distance through the rivers mighty currents. Like an angel, she guided me with much insight…
Upon approach of the rivers banks I felt this sense of calming. I could feel this strength as I laid rest upon the shores. The warmth of her love was carried within my soul.
I often looked within my surroundings, but she was nowhere to be found. Rest assures, I knew her presence was near. I knew she’d be moments away when I needed her…
I carried her voice within while subtle as it could be; it was her insight that guided me through transparency. As I began to build a new foundation through life. Tearing the fabric of old sheltered ways. I embraced and embarked on a new journey.
The gratitude from within transpired into tranquility… It was the love of a sister’s gentle ways that gave me reasons to change…
All Rights Reserved
Follow at http://marshabeedematrix.com
How far will you go?
Short Introduction for beginners module 1 based on “30 second rule” in marketing strategies. Whereas, this is all it would take for someone scroll on by or view your website and lose interest.
If you’re looking to learn to guide with self-help tools, you’ve come to the right place. There’s nothing like putting your own efforts into all your hard work. The results will be much more rewarding when one has the ability to understand how websites function. What makes a website tic? Where is all the traffic coming from? What role do analytics play in a website?
Finding the answers to these questions can be like a needle in a haystack, except there’s no hay to be found. This can happen to many when their isn’t a clear understanding as to how one got there in the first place.
In this booklet style module there will be “key factors” that will demonstrate certain criteria to help establish the best options on how to build your own website. Key factors will be broken down so that you may have the ability to get started on your website without the hassle of trying to learn at an accelerated rate. You’ll have the ability to scroll through many computer index definitions, guided from page-to-page; to self-guide through computer terminology, lingo, and abbreviations…
This module is available in paperback with large fonts making reading more accessible.
This Module is currently only available to Minnesota residents in the Twin Cities Metro MeetUp wish to take lessons through nonprofit group.
As we continue to expand our services and portfolio at je-mar.com, more investment options will become available.
Module is not available on Ebooks To learn more follow https://je-mar.com
This is truly an amazing site for teens to have a voice. This site has my support, I’d give them a 5 star rating.
Silhouette art is a wonderful way to convey drama, mystery, emotion and mood in a picture. A silhouette is defined as a view of an object or a scene consisting of the outline and a featureless interior, with the silhouette object usually being black. However this artist redefines silhouettes’ by adding more features and toner per illustrations.
Silhouette by Jean “Ryhmoreason” Powell
“Catalyst of Unhealthy Guilt”
It is often said that forgiveness is a healing process, healing within itself is for those who seek it. Forgiveness can be the ultimate sacrifice one does to alleviate pains of sorrow. A sorrow so deep at times it can feel unbearable until one can release this pain.
Then there is another kind of forgiveness that we sometimes seek that can drive a wedge between those we love. The “unhealthy guilt” , sometimes called “Irrational guilt” where it’s not ones to own. Where we mistakenly take on other people’s guilt because the pain can feel horrendous. Pain that can be misplaced where one can only assume this to be true if we didn’t recognize the difference.
[In other terms this can be best described as “Irrational guilt” that leads to “doubts about oneself” and “irrational shame” that is displaced. Hallmark features for anxiety and OCD.]
When we don’t know the difference between healthy forgiveness versus unhealthy or irrational guilt we may unintentionally place a wedge between those we love and drive them away.
The catalyst of unhealthy guilt; the straw that broke the camel’s back…
Before we go further one must ask themselves,
· Why am I seeking forgiveness?
· What do I wish to gain when asking for forgiveness?
· What action do I wish to receive from someone else in return?
· When does asking for forgiveness become too much?
The healing of our own emotions can only be done through first healing ourselves. This is especially true if you have carried the burdens of unhealthy guilt. But many similar emotions we feel can lead to unhealthy guilt if one suffers from grief or loss, anxiety, depression, etc. But grieving a loss does not necessarily mean the death of a love one. There are many factors in life where one may grieve and most often related to unresolved emotions steaming from circumstances beyond control. Where we feel this lack of control in our lives may become the hindering addictions we seek externally.
Like any addiction, unhealthy guilt can feed into the notion that what we are feeling or what we might be saying to ourselves must be true. The catalyst of an unhealthy guilt can lead to years of chaos in our lives if we do not seek the underline source of our emotions. Unhealthy guilt leads like an addiction and spreads like wildfire through the trees and plains that have become out of control.
Perhaps there were times one found themselves apologizing over-and-over asking for forgiveness believing past circumstances warranted this to be factual right down to the core of one’s conscience state of mind.
My proposed question is to ask “What if there is nothing to forgive?”
In many stages of forgiveness or however one convinces themselves at times by being repetitive in nature to sorrows, it often may drive opposite action upon others we are seeking forgiveness. Perhaps one may become consumed by the “what ifs” in thoughts of sorrows with unhealthy guilt and self-doubts. This combo is like mixing magnesium sulfate and carbonated beverages. Sooner or later it will fester and explode. This course of actions does more harm than good.
Most importantly, sometimes thoughts serve no other purpose than to simply be thoughts.
There comes a time in a person life that one may need to reexamine the situation and ask themselves “why is it that I feel so compelled to seek forgiveness?” Perhaps unhealthy guilt could be the culprit of another’s wrong doing. People generally don’t like to live in past tense and at times this pattern of behavior can hinder one’s ability to move forward into a healthier state of mind. At times communication barriers have taken a toll on others we seek forgiveness. To a sense where one asking for forgiveness hasn’t grasp another’s forgiveness to them.
Is it possible for one to misinterpret such compelling words by repeating the same thing to such great overabundance?
Absolutely, this can happen for several different reasons. Communication can drive a wedge when we misunderstand things. Perhaps someone had said forgiveness isn’t necessary because they felt there wasn’t anything to forgive. At times repeating and saying “its fine or everything is ok overwhelmingly to where a person becomes pressured to reassure another’s pattern of behaviors. This can drive a person away like salt on open wounds; the instability of irrational guilt’s, leaving feelings of hopeless about situations. This kind of repetitive behavior often creates problems by stirring up emotions that may have never been there to begin with.
However just like many addictions unhealthy guilt can become an unhealthy behavior. There have been many discoveries through science and psychology, how the pathways to our brains can change when we change our actions. This is especially true to changing behaviors. Like any addiction or habit the changes start within us. Many addictions and mental health situations are not circumstantial, nor do them fade by the changes we make within ourselves but rather things may become much more manageable as time passes. But only through time can we see these changes as they accrue. Most often great changes can take years to accomplish as we begin recognize what it is we are trying to change. The same is true for unhealthy guilt.
You cannot make up for lost time, nor can a person change what has already been done. We cannot own or accept other people’s faults, nor can we change others wrong doings. The only thing we have in our lives where we can maintain control of circumstance is the control we have within ourselves. Our own emotions, thoughts and our own actions will lead us down a path of choices. It’s that choice we make now, currently in plain view that we may come to embrace towards our future. Like any kind of addiction this too, unhealthy guilt comes with emotional pain when we choose to let go. Because with any uncertainty there is fear and fear can be a powerful motivator.
After all time doesn’t stand still for anyone and neither should you. What we can do is seek a brighter future, take leaps of faith and drive it towards more positive outcomes. When we learn to let go unhealthy and irrational guilt, the chain may become undone and one may no longer be hindered by the inability to move forward but rather gain insight.
While I once carried my voice as subtle as it could be; it was insight that guided me through tranquility.
I began to build on a new foundation through life. Tearing down the fabric of old sheltered ways.
I embraced and embarked on a new journey; leading me to transparency.
The OCD In Me
Reassurance Serenity Prayer
God grant me the ability to surrender my uncertainties and all forms of reassurance for my OCD intrusive thoughts, that I may know this will most certainly without doubts make me uncomfortable, however perhaps I may understand that I remain powerless, that this too will be a given.
And so it shall be…
This segment was pulled from OCDLA
So why is reassurance such a big deal? To put it in clinical terms, when an individual seeks reassurance, they reinforce that they are unable to tolerate the discomfort of the uncertainty they are experiencing. At the same time, they reinforce that the best way to alleviate the discomfort of that uncertainty is to compulsively seek reassurance.
Concurrently, reassurance as a behavior sends the message to the brain that whatever unwanted thought set these events into motion must be terribly significant. “If he goes through all of this just to know for sure, then this thought must be really important!”
Finally, reassurance is addictive. If reassurance were a substance, it would be considered right up there with crack cocaine. One is never enough, a few makes you want more, tolerance is constantly on the rise, and withdrawal hurts. In other words, people with OCD and related conditions who compulsively seek reassurance get a quick fix, but actually worsen their discomfort in the long term.
I couldn’t agree more…
The amazing sound quality allowed me to hear tones I’d lost years ago.
To put on a new set of hearing aids without an adjustment period had captured my heart and to not feel overwhelmed during adjustment periods.
However they do come with pro’s and con’s that certainly will need to be weighed in before purchase.
My overall personal experience wearing bluetooth hearing aids have exceeded a positive outcome on my quality of life.
I’ve been wearing hearing aids since I was 5 years old. I’ve had the experience of wearing analog and programmable hearing aids. Bluetooth compatible hearing aids have by far been a sensational experience being able to hear tones I’d hadn’t been able to hear for years.
However today’s technology requires us to weigh in radio frequencies and other bluetooth technology that may hinder a person’s ability to hear quality sounds from malfunctions in bluetooth frequencies.
Especially in times of need…
With the basic principle of another’s “Bluetooth Headset” at the doctor’s office, scheduled services through cellular phones, security services, stores, restaurants, etc.
With the occasional frequency interferences in public restrooms and alternative locations.
The necessity that we come to rely on may stream frequencies that are gargle or muffled, static or screeching sounds like a fax machine, the automatic on-and-off of a person’s hearing aid device makes it difficult to communicate with others.
There has been several occasions where I’ve had to politely ask others to not use bluetooth headphones when in private and public relations so that I could continue to engage in conversations.
Having hearing aids malfunction over frequencies becomes so bothersome that anything pertaining to what I may have needed becomes irrelevant if I cannot understand what is being said.
Types of hearing loss are demonstrated by following link provided
As Hearing Aids Technology Advance
The Frequencies Being Utilizing By Bluetooth Technology in Hearing Aids Have Some Serious Malfunctions That May Occur.
Information Provided By
Hearing aid malfunction detection system
US 4049930 A
Disclosed is a malfunction detection system for detecting malfunctions in electrical signal processing circuits.
In a particular embodiment shown, malfunctions of a hearing aid in the form of frequency distortion and/or inadequate amplification by the hearing aid amplifier, as well as weakening of the hearing aid power supply are detectable.
A test signal is generated and a timed switching circuit periodically applies the test signal to the input of the hearing aid amplifier in place of the input signal from the microphone.
The resulting amplifier output is compared with the input test signal used as a reference signal.
The hearing aid battery voltage is also periodically compared to a reference voltage.
Deviations from the references beyond preset limits cause a warning system to operate. In the method of the invention, the input to a circuit to be tested is periodically interrupted and, for a fixed test time interval, a test signal is applied to the circuit to be tested.
The output of the circuit to be tested is compared with a reference signal, and deviation in amplitude and/or frequency between the two signals beyond preset limits triggers a warning.
During the test time interval, the voltage level of the power supply for the circuit to be tested is also compared to a reference voltage, and the warning system is triggered if the power supply voltage falls below the reference voltage.
Information Provided By
Shatter Proof : “Meth versus Gremlin”
(Music written and composed by my son with the use of therapeutic arts)
“What it takes to shatter stigmas and reshape modernized thinking”
I’ve found many challenges in my life when asked to elaborate on unmasking “Meth” and the disorder in the brain of my AS (Refers to Addict Son in Supportive Networks) to be complexed. To explain how my AS (whom is an adult now) functions without labeling him with a stigma, the severity of it still troubles my heart to this day.
For one to understand the person with addictions, we must shatter proof illusions and become unglued. Like a web of false notions, unmask the illusions of defining what makes a person go to such great lengths is the question one must ask themselves. How we unmask the addictions as to why one may become self-destructive with potentially life altering behaviors and possibly death resulting from self-destruction requires absolution, breaking down the stigmas.
Family dynamics; living with a loved ones addictions.
Meth, my AS preference of drug addiction is a powerful source of evil within the potent chemicals and poisons that produces havoc in society. All it takes is 1 or 2 hits of meth and the person may fall deep into what may appear to be a never-ending battle from this drug addiction. Sadly most addictions to drugs will prey on anything to attain and continue to use at great lengths to get this fixed “high” to mask what might otherwise be overwhelming emotions; the inability to see change and causes a person to spiral downward.
The capacity of what a person will do to feed into ones addiction becomes difficult to comprehend at times; beyond what might otherwise be self-destructive. A person addiction mode can falter and drift subconsciously, yet oblivious state of the reality in which present moments become a way to create their next escape, to run perhaps from themselves.
On the run; the road to chaos
Changes within family dynamics didn’t happen overnight as this continues to be ongoing circumstances in our lives. However, time and patience are virtues of all things. A healing process for many can take a toll on family and love ones. Sometimes spending decades searching for solace, surrender to much-needed peace to move forward in life.
My AS has been a runner most of his life. Running from himself in fight or flight modes from a very young age prior to adolescence. He’s emotions to this day are very troublesome within the reality of his state of self-destructive behaviors and actions. I came to realize that on many occasions that trying to describe my son’s addiction created a lot of emotions and turmoil. The terror within the addiction was simply not going to make what I had to say any easier to describe how horrific this addiction had become.
My tolerance level was certainly tested on many occasions. The paranoia created from years of meth use had began to test my love and loyalty in ways that were difficult. My reactions to what my son was looking for were through his turmoil and his suicide gestures, his threats when he would become overwhelmed? He would send me on a mission long enough to get a location to dial 911. Only to find out that he was not where he stated, but rather he would test me to see what my response would be. He knew from past experiences that my reaction would prompt me to dial 911. These test often would resolve by what he simply may have wanted (a ride, money, food or items) or to know that I still loved him and cared about his well-being.
Enabling in crisis modes
A crisis can condition a person to stray far from stabilization in any manner within cause and effect, creating an avalanche effect that may continue to build regardless. Many individuals at one time or another have come across circumstances in their lives that sent them on a mission in an overwhelming emotional state. This doesn’t necessarily change or modify another person’s elevated emotional state of mind, but rather dysfunction may occur.
One may at times mimic or draw conclusions to reflect on their own emotional response conditioned through a belief system right down to personal and core values. One may find within their own personal habitat that their own state of mind may react spontaneously when in a state of panic (rescue mode) to rid unwanted emotions or problem solve.
We sometimes become compelled in stressful situations to place ourselves in the driver’s seat of a vehicle. Only to learn that when one is in overdrive with their foot floored to the gas pedal that one may be based in a state of emotions to React! Respond! Do Something!
Retrospective; putting the brakes on enabling
I learned long ago that I couldn’t give him cash or items worth much because it would already be gone towards his addiction. I cannot stress enough how enabling intends to feed more consequences that simply are not helpful, but rather it creates a never-ending cycle. Making the decision not to enable is much easier said than done. The pain which is felt can consume a person’s thoughts and emotions when it is our loved ones whom must face these circumstances and render their own decisions to understand their addictions.
[Addiction is not a task easily understood by the addict themselves because addictions do not shed lightly when rages appear without warning and the aggression that soon follows the accusations made against the addict.]
Meth Versus Gremlin
I was beginning to have difficulties understanding how to separate whom my son had become. It had become difficult to describe the meth addiction without associating my son’s name to the addiction itself. As I was talking to someone regarding addictions to meth the word “Gremlin” appeared. This person described meth and the many behaviors and emotions as a compromising comparison to the word “Gremlin.” One where I could separate “Meth and Son” as two very different individuals. When his gremlins appeared we were able to define his addiction. When my son was sober, we could relate to the kind, gentle and compassion that came with his demeanor as genuine love for others.
(Captured moment in city papers. His love for skateboarding)
Long before the “Gremlins” arrived was a very loving young man. He valued his family more than life himself but struggled with severe depression and an anxiety disorder. His depression kept him home in bed most days when he should have been in school. On more pleasant days he spent time doing things he loved. I often encouraged positive interaction to do things he loved as a way to build on memento’s. This would include his love for music. He could spend hours at home writing and composing his own music. I always encouraged him to follow his passions.
The road to recovery
Long ago my son had been a victim of horrific assault at a very young age. We all know these things happen, but when these things hit close to home it becomes most complex and agonizing with many days of tears and sadness. No parent can acknowledge these circumstances without some sort of emotional breakdown. To this day I still feel the pain he suffered, asking myself sometimes filled with anger and/or sadness “who does these things to children?” There are some days where the memories of my sons sadness, pain, and suffering to live in this world still hit me without any warning and I begin to have emotional reactions of anger, sadness and despair. But I had to learn to sit with my emotions and allow them to pass. My sons perpetrator passed away before justice could catch up to him. He can now face justice with the man above.
I had to come to a point in my life when I found out my son began using drugs at a very young age. This was going to become an uphill battle because the anger and hatred had already began to appear masked within his deep depression. Mental health factored so much into our lives to the point we were all in therapy trying to recover from chaos that appeared to follow us everywhere we went. Our family became quiet dysfunctional I’d say to the least.
Throughout the years my son continued to struggle and was placed in several mental health treatment facilities. When I learned the severity of his addiction I placed him into “Dual Diagnoses” programs for mental health and chemical dependency. He entered several treatment facilities throughout the years, inpatient, outpatient and lastly, a long-term treatment facility. It never seized to amaze me how hard he fought to come home. He ran from every inpatient treatment facility and was kicked out of each single one. He couldn’t manage his emotions in treatment because he wanted to come home no matter the consequences he would face from the county and juvenile justice department.
He was truly miserable, but our final last effort and hope was his approval to a longer term inpatient treatment facility. I was absolutely grateful he had been approved because my concerns for him grew quiet fearful for his future. He proved to be relentless with his efforts and determined to run away over-and-over to make it home. It didn’t matter if he walked home for miles on freeways or in the middle of the night jeopardizing his safety. I’d hear him throwing sticks and rocks at my window, pleading for me to let him in. The following morning, I would drive him back to the treatment facility.
However the severity on his condition was troublesome by many facilitator in his long-term treatment program. The day came when I was summoned to attend a meeting at the treatment center only to be told that I needed to take my son home because they labeled him a “Liability.”
The irony still burns through me to this day that children/teens have the ability to contest and/or given a choice to whether would like to attend or engage in treatment options, allowing them to make adult decisions on their behalf when they are unable to engage in healthy decisions. There is no doubt other than to believe that the system is somewhat broken and bias. Whereas, I can acknowledge that punitive and cruel punishment from the justice department to utilize incarceration as a tool towards their war on drugs. These laws have various loopholes that waste a lot of tax dollars.
These notions carry very little merit as incarceration does more harm than good when it comes to lack of initiative towards positive reinforcement and education on an alarming rate of substance abuse crimes. It certainly hasn’t proven to be a solution, one that backs up with statistics as an overall solution to humanity. A solution would be to define to a certain extent that many substance abuse crimes went awol because the justice department didn’t carry much understanding when it came to the substance disorder in the brain versus the crime that brought them to such extreme measures in the first place.
Traditional methods of recovery programs simply will not suffice. Times have changed and we need to acknowledge and learn new ways to think outside the box.
The pain and sadness seem at times to never fade other than the occasional calm in-between emotional storms from the resentments and anger that have shattered all around us to this day. But we continue to move forward and make progress towards understanding each other with willingness to be open-minded. Addictions and mental health are very real circumstance. They do not stagger far from the reality of one’s situation but rather life has fiery closes to one’s heart whom suffers. It is the fiery within itself that appears when mental health and/or addictions go unnoticed and/or untreated..
Finding spirituality carries complexity for many with addictions. When someone is struggling to find reasons to believe things will get better. Most often a person’s addictions can spiral into a path of destruction, leaving one’s self-worth, personal core values to plummet downward. One’s spirituality may have already been hindered collectively through emotional duress without the ability to reason and/or see things differently. For some spirituality may falter so far that even an avalanche couldn’t persuade one to find shelter.
[It is often said when it comes to addictions, mental illness, one may strive at a bare minimal in times of struggles. One’s ability to maintain a faction of hope strays far, just enough to keep a person on solid ground; living moment-by-moment in any given circumstances where there are shadows of doubts…]
While building friendships thoughout life it was relations with seniors I relished most. We greeted each other in senior centers, we greeted in memory centers, many whom suffered with Alzheimer’s and/or Dementia. To this day it was an honor I came to embrace in those whom I served, those moments shared regardless of their memories at free will or fragments of what perhaps was. I am grateful to have met, I will always treasure those moments. Regardless of each persons circumstances, it was time well spent…
Alzheimer’s and Dementia Activities
As an activities coordinator I had first had experience working closely with those whom had Alzheimer’s and/or Dementia. The one notable thing I’ve come across that is sometimes misunderstood is the potential of those whom had Alzheimer’s and/or Dementia. There are various stages of Alzheimer’s and Dementia but many still have potential to engage in meaningful experiences.
A person with Alzheimer’s may begin to show considerable symptoms of decrease brain functions but underneath the surface of those symptoms one may be surprised with capabilities of what cannot be seen beyond those symptoms. However before I begin to share my experiences on things we can do to maximize quality of life; a life worth living, I’m going to provide a bit of background on Alzheimer’s and Dementia referenced and quoted by National Institute of Aging.
The National Institute of Aging
What is Alzheimer’s?
Scientists continue to unravel the complex brain changes involved in the onset and progression of Alzheimer’s disease. It seems likely that damage to the brain starts a decade or more before memory and other cognitive problems become evident. During this preclinical stage of Alzheimer’s disease, people seem to be symptom-free, but toxic changes are taking place in the brain. Abnormal deposits of proteins form amyloid plaques and tau tangles throughout the brain, and once-healthy neurons stop functioning, lose connections with other neurons, and die.
The damage initially appears to take place in the hippocampus, the part of the brain essential in forming memories. As more neurons die, additional parts of the brain are affected. By the final stage of Alzheimer’s, damage is widespread, and brain tissue has shrunk significantly.
To learn more about Alzheimer’s follow link provided by
The National Institute of Aging
What is Dementia?
Dementia is the loss of cognitive functioning—thinking, remembering, and reasoning—and behavioral abilities to such an extent that it interferes with a person’s daily life and activities. Dementia ranges in severity from the mildest stage, when it is just beginning to affect a person’s functioning, to the most severe stage, when the person must depend completely on others for basic activities of daily living.
The causes of dementia can vary, depending on the types of brain changes that may be taking place. Other dementias include Lewy body dementia, frontotemporal disorders, and vascular dementia. It is common for people to have mixed dementia—a combination of two or more disorders, at least one of which is dementia. For example, some people have both Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia.
Other conditions that may cause memory loss or dementia include:
Some of these conditions may be treatable and possibly reversible. They can be serious and should be treated by a doctor as soon as possible.
Emotional problems, such as stress, anxiety, or depression, can make a person more forgetful and can be mistaken for dementia. For instance, someone who has recently retired or who is coping with the death of a spouse may feel sad, lonely, worried, or bored. Trying to deal with these life changes leaves some people confused or forgetful. The emotional problems can be eased by supportive friends and family, but if these feelings last for a long time, it is important to get help from a doctor or counselor.
The National Institute of Aging is very resourceful if one would like to learn more.
Before I begin I would like to share a tremendous and positive experience I had working in a memory center with seniors whom had Dementia and/or Alzheimer’s. It was my first day as an activities coordinator at this particular memory center (due to confidentiality I cannot disclose information that pertains to clientele).
My trainer and I gather clients whom would appreciate participating in an activity. Many clients were in various stages of Alzheimer’s and/Dementia of being ambulatory, walkers, wheelchairs, etc…
Many were in various stages of Alzheimer’s and Dementia with memory function, forgetfulness, lethargy, unspoken words…
Some were perhaps, irritable, angry, sacred from the unknown or confusion of where they were…
One thing for sure is everyone needed a sense of belonging regardless of circumstances…
But kindness, compassion and understanding can go a long ways to make the best of circumstances (key word validation)
My trainer and I gathered as many clients as possible at a very large table (I am a big fan of community activities and I will describe in more detain soon) to fits as many clients as possible. We then went to the storage area and grabbed balloons and a water noodle made as floats while swimming. We had the noodles broken in half for this game and called it noodle ball. The estimated amount of clients that participated was roughly 15 and if there was one thing I could assure my readers is everyone participated on their own free will.
We gave everyone a noodle and placed a balloon in the center of the table regardless of where their brain or thoughts may have been. Some perhaps may have been laying dormant. Everyone participated and the many smiles that filled the room to have such a wonderful, somewhat physical activity to play. Those noodles were skillfully used and tailored to each person capabilities of what they could achieve when that balloon came their direction. Surely everyone one had their eye on the prize and this was the balloon. The desire to have this prize come their direction was remarkable and by no means did anyone engage in this game with any other intentions. At times when things became overjoyed to capture the prize we would place a second balloon on the table to bring more joy. I was quite amazed with dexterity because everyone had their own unique challenges to overcome. My thought perhaps lead me to believe that many may have enjoyed volleyball or some sort of sport one time or another. This would include those whom may have laid dormant but they were able to unlock their brain to participate even if it may have been subtle moments. This was a favorite activities among clients and on many occasions they requested to play a bit longer. It was a great distraction from everyday environment, background noise and everyday stressors being away from home.
Unlocking the brain with social interactive activities
I will reference the word “unlocking the brain” as I continue describing potential and meaningful outcomes to engage people whom suffer from Alzheimer’s or Dementia. There as various things we as caregivers can do to try to minimize moments when patterns of the brains disrupt ones ability to get unstuck. By no means can I say suggestions will benefit all situations but maybe more so to minimize behavior changes that may become overwhelming at times. These suggestions will include things that may help caregivers or family member in a home environment too.
1. Background noise can become an undesirable and overwhelming experience for those whom struggle with Dementia or Alzheimer’s. At times this will factor into irritability, frustration and anger.
But if the background noise is desirable such as something they can relate to or enjoy than this is more than likely a positive interaction.
2. Friendships doesn’t need recognition.
In memory centers or day centers I’ve come to recognize some key elements where friendship doesn’t necessarily require one to know another person but rather a substance in fragments. This implies that a loved one may build a friendship without knowing a person’s name nor carry much recognition. But will sit or do activities with a someone based solely on comfort in fragments; partial recognition.
This is crucial for caregivers to be mindful in maintaining these kinds of friendship. Apply this knowledge to everyday use. At times this will fall on the caregiver to help guide an individual to this comfort zone.
3. I’m a fan of community integration and social settings. Sharing a community experience versus small group settings leads to more opportunities to engage as a whole. Often times smaller settings lead to gaps, in return lead to boredom, reminiscing, agitation and loneliness.
It’s been my experience that even if one was at a community center engaging with others it would give them this sense of belonging. Clients with Alzheimer’s and Dementia sometimes benefit from community settings regardless of circumstances. To come together with a sense of acknowledgement and not feel so detached with overwhelming emotions.
It’s a great way for caregivers to see things from a different perspective, to get to know a clients where at times things go unnoticed. Some traits are habitual through body language, cues and gestures. Great friendships are built when we take notice and apply this knowledge to use. Be the person that inspires this method and apply it to daily use.
4. It’s been notable that engaging in activities through past time favorite are preferable. Music would be a great example. Utilize music, movies, or topics in past tense. Current events can be overwhelming at times, especially music. It is crucial for caregivers to remember that clients may not be enjoying the same music or movies. Find what motivates the client interest.
5. I mentioned the use of brain lock earlier. This is implied to be used as an opposite action in thoughts or actions in a way that engages ones attention to unlock things that may keep person stuck.
Many times I used this method towards community engagement to create the most unlikely response to a question on game cards I created for this purpose. These questions are somewhat off the wall but very relevant questions we seldom think about.
As a community coming together we sit with the utmost respect, providing refreshments, snacks and plenty to talk about. Providing an environment with concierge service brings an open invitation to engage with others. This provides the opportunity to further social interaction with others. The cards with random questions became a favorite among clients. Each person has the opportunity to answer every question provided.
After all, how often would a person ask “if you were walking to a friend’s house and it started to rain, what would you do?” The primary objective to random questions is to unlocking patterns that keep a person stuck. Perhaps the question may have been “what if you just came from the grocery store and there’s a stray dog at your door begging for food?” The question remains “if you were in a car going out-of-town and there’s a cow standing in the road?” Ultimately the question leads to “What would you do?”
Key element was to give everyone a chance to respond. Clients maintained social interaction for longer periods of time, found friendships among each other, less isolation and better quality of life…
6. When it comes to Alzheimer’s and Dementia things will be repetitive in nature; by nature, it’s a given.
Expect the unexpected, most importantly there is no cure for Alzheimer’s and Dementia. Carry a non-judgmental stance, compassion goes a long ways; time and patience are virtues of all things.
How far will you go?
Short Introduction for beginners module 1 based on “30 second rule” in marketing strategies. Whereas, this is all it would take for someone scroll on by or view your website and lose interest.If you’re looking to learn to guide with self-help tools, you’ve come to the right place. There’s nothing like putting your own efforts into all your hard work. The results will be much more rewarding when one has the ability to understand how websites function.
What makes a website tic? Where is all the traffic coming from? What role do analytics play in a website?Finding the answers to these questions can be like a needle in a haystack, except there’s no hay to be found. This can happen to many when their isn’t a clear understanding as to how one got there in the first place.
In this booklet style module there will be “key factors” that will demonstrate certain criteria to help establish the best options on how to build your own website. Key factors will be broken down so that you may have the ability to get started on your website without the hassle of trying to learn at an accelerated rate. You’ll have the ability to scroll through many computer index definitions, guided from page-to-page; to self-guide through computer terminology, lingo, and abbreviations…
This module is available only on paperback with large fonts making reading more accessible.
Module is not available on Ebooks
If we agree, then why are we arguing?
Locked in different brain patterns of thinking can cause quite a headache if not conscientiously aware enough to stop it in its tracks…
This article will illustrate examples of common functions in communication errors that we sometimes overlook. Communication can cause a lot of misfortune, misunderstandings that sometimes were never there to begin with.
Why should 2+2=4 more so than 1+3?
There is no burden of truth nor a right or wrong answer.
This might seem pretty simple right?
Cars and communication can carry some very similar factors. Your car may be making some strange noises, rattling or perhaps guzzling gas and you’re wondering what to do? Do you sit with these strange noises? Let it keep rattling till it drives you crazy. Perhaps the gas is burning more than it should and it becomes rather bothersome.
Communication in relationships can be very similar to cars. Now you’re probably thinking “what on earth are you talking about?” Maybe one might be intrigued by this scenario and as I continue as not all things appear the same.
Countless times I’ve found myself arguing over something we agree upon but then get hung up on communication barriers, saying the same thing but five different ways.
Catching these moments where communication shouldn’t seem so difficult can be harder than it may seem when you come upon someone whom may not have the same thinking pattern.
Our thought process are unique to our own individuality…
I often reference the word “Brain lock” in my writing because this is what our brains do at times. This doesn’t reflect right nor wrong, it doesn’t reflect intelligence, nor a person’s character. Simply said is we are all a reflection to ourselves, how we perceive things in life, thought patterns that may justify who we are. Our brain chemistry are hardwire in such divine ways that no thought pattern is the same, only similarities carry common factors.
Neurotransmitters in our bodies have always been intriguing because even the slightest change in a person’s diet can send one into a tailspin when it comes to changes in mood and our bodies. We carry more neurotransmitters in our stomach, our digestive track than we do in our brains. Our bodies communicate on various levels from head to toe. Just as a car needs fuel, our bodies carry that same factor.
One could have the slightest snarling pain to cause one to become distracted and lose focus. Perhaps a loved one lives with chronic pain because this too may displace communication. Communication is essential to our everyday lives. How we utilize our communication skills matters significantly.
I once had the opportunity to sit at a concert next to a woman who had late onset Alzheimer’s and appeared to be unable to communicate. However, something caught my eye and helped me to realize not all things appear to be as what it might seem. There she rested next to me with her feet bobbin to the beat of the song the band was playing.
There are many ways to illustrate communication far and in between…
Relationships take time, patience and effort beyond basic understanding. Communication isn’t bias nor a rebound of endless equations that sometimes get us stuck on 2+2 or however 4 may come about. We are all built on a foundation that requires communication on various levels. No stone can be unturned without willingness to try. To create a deeper understanding we need to move beyond what we know, find a way to set aside what we know and be willing to listen, ask questions and keep asking until something we hear, feel or notice changes how we see things
One day I decided to run errands and stopped in a Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. While I was shopping I noticed a woman struggling, going up and down an aisle looking at all the hygiene products. I truly felt her emotions from a short distance as I began to walk down the aisle passing on by. However she tapped me on my shoulder from behind. I turned to see what she may have wanted but soon noticed she didn’t speak English. I stood there as she made gestures in ways to communicate.
Communication can be the most daring of truth…
I knew her pain from having a lifetime of communication barriers. Living with a profound hearing loss requires modifying how I communicate with others. We worked through our communication barriers with a lot of hand gestures, taking items on and off the shelves that day. She left with a better understanding of products without the use of verbal communication.
Unlocking the use of our brains can sometimes becomes an habitual state of being, a mode we become accustom to driving on automatic pilot; a comfort zone beyond reasoning, rationalizing and often overlooked. One where at times these patterns can wreak havoc in our everyday lives without a second guess as to why things appear to stay the same.
Just as cars can become unmanageable, mimic different reasoning’s as we begin to explore the idea of how complex the problem might be. Your car may be making some strange noises, rattling or perhaps guzzling gas and you’re wondering what to do? Do you sit with these strange noises? Let it keep rattling till it drives you crazy. Perhaps the gas is burning more than it should and it becomes rather bothersome. We begin to ponder, become fixated, annoyed and agonized with endless or clueless understandings, beyond recognizing what might become reality.
Now imagine this car is someone significant in your life….
This is your brain working overtime…
The car is a metaphor…
Or maybe one might still be pondering?…
Whereas there is nothing more divine than communication in itself…
Quote “We are a product of our own environment. However, at times we may become proficient within our own imperfections.” Underground talent yet to be discovered. Lyrics are amazing if …
Duluth MN Abandoned Loading Dock in Superior Lake
Now this place situated amongst a high touristy area with hotels all around it was a sand and gravel unloading dock created in 1919 but abandoned in 1922 because of its exposure to the weather off of the lake.
It sits in Superior Lake near the boardwalk not too far from the lighthouses and historical museum in Duluth MN.
However when the tide peaks the building begins to submerge and vanish.
During low tides or the water becomes shallow it will emerge and grace us with its presence.
It’s always raining in movies when people are sad. I myself have felt the rain when I am sad.
But, it’s so much more. There have been many times I have felt the rain of joy, love, endings, and grief. The seasons of our tears.
In the spring we feel it’s wet antisipation. We smile knowing something new and fresh is about to begin. As a child is born, tears are like a spring time rain.
The rain’s soft warmth in the summer. It’s the tears of comfort we find in a friend.
The rain of fall as things come to an end. The feeling of the sad song coming to an end.
The cold dark rain of winter. The tears of the end of a love.
We are afraid to step out in the rain. We hide from it just like we do our tears.
There is strength in…
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[Creative innovative ideas in multimedia and marketing strategies come with a creative edge that can be seen not only virtually, but also through illustration within ones imagination. We’re a…
Source: Inspired By Je_Mar Designs
As the morning sunrise approaches, I knew within moments the thoughts fresh on my mind would be the same thoughts I woke to each morning, saying to myself “time to get up and make coffee.” I rolled out of bed and stumbled over the cat as I made my way to the kitchen only to realize I forgot to pick up coffee beans. I knew from previous mornings I intended to stumble throughout my day without a mug coffee.
Would you find me complaining or stomping on those damn beans? Most certainly I rather get those damn beans than stumble throughout my day. Rest assures those roasted beans would be on the top of my grocery list on any given day.
Say to myself “why can’t I keep things straight with those coffee beans?” I glanced over at the coffee filters on the kitchen counter feeling frustrated . I grabbed the coffee pot and lifted it up towards my head shaking it to see if there was left over coffee from the day before. Only to find a few drops covered in coffee grounds that had leaked through the coffee maker. I placed the coffee pot back on the counter and began looking through all the cabinets, moving and pushing things around. Not a trace of coffee grounds could be found, saying to myself “here we go again!”
I turned around to find my cat on the table outside. I hollered out the window at her to get off the table, only to get attitude. I made my way out to the deck and I picked her up. I said to her”where’s your table manners? Stay off the table!” I gently placed her on the ground and went back inside the house.
I threw on some clothes, grabbed some cash and made my way to the front door saying “damn, I can’t believe this! Those damn roasted beans could make a mockery out of me!”
Out the door I go with those damn beans on my mind, stumbling and fumbling down the street; tripping over everything. I walked down the street with my hair frizzy and out-of-place. All the cars that passed on by, I could care less either way. I walked down the street with a green neon shirt and faded jeans as I fumbled down the street, saying to myself “those damn beans already began to jinx my day!”
I made my way to the coffee shop swinging the front door open in full force, stumbling and fumbling all the way. I walked up to the counter as bystanders glanced and stared my way. Surely I’d forgotten about my green neon shirt and my frizzy hair out-of-place. Thinking to myself “nothing could faze me a bit or stand in my way. Those damn roasted coffee beans; I could smell them a mile away!”
I stood there staring down at those coffee beans hollering to the cashier “extra-large coffee with creamier and make it to go!” I grabbed a pen off the counter and began to write my grocery list. I placed those coffee beans on the top of the list.
I grabbed my coffee and went about my day, sipping on it as I placed the grocery list in my pocket.
Habitual as it may seem, it would appear those roasted beans are imbedded in me. By nightfall without a doubt, I knew those roasted beans would slip my mind.
Will tomorrow repeat itself over those damn roasted beans? I fell asleep and forgot that I had left the grocery list in my pants pockets. Surely by sunrise I will have realized I’d forgotten to get those damn roasted beans…
Copyright By Marsha Beede (2012)
All Rights Reserved
I know this guy in a truck name “Gator”.
He drives by often while I’m waiting for bus #9…
I could walk down the street, maybe even pass Gator by.
Without a doubt, I could at least try …
Here comes gator with a grin on his face!
Gazing down at me as he saw me walking towards #9 bus stop.
Gator tossed a dime near me just as he passed me by.
Ten times the amount of penny thoughts he had given me.
Bold as can be gator pulled over and had me on his mind.
Countless times as he spoke I gained insight though his eyes.
Most often when I was waiting for,
He counted down the glory every single time!
How many dimes did he toss, I couldn’t begin to count?
One thing for sure, I could have bought a car with all those dimes!
Why didn’t I save those dimes, instead they junked my car!
Those dimes gator tossed, I tripped over them every single time!
I think someone else bought a new car with gators dimes!!
Instead of picking up those dimes,
I kept walking on by…
Once again Gator saw me waiting for bus #9.
He pulled over next to me and said “now listen”.
He tossed another dime with a flick from his fingers.
I tilted my head high and watched that dime go right on by.
Gator didn’t waste time telling me what was on his mind.
I finally realized why he tossed all those dimes.
Those dimes gator tossed shined with much insight.
With a grin on his face, he knew it every single time.
I said to Gator “Bro, I get it!”
I’m gonna write a note on that bus #9
With a grin on my face, I got into Gators truck while shaking my head back-and-forth.
He said to me,”Let’s get out of here where the road leads elsewhere…”
Copyright © (2013) By Marsha Beede
All Rights Reserve
“Brighter Days” Where we feel the blues, The sun shall soon shine again… Where things fester and wither away, We’ll capture brighter days… Where we feel sorrow, We shall soon find joy…
Source: “Brighter Days”
Fate has no boundaries. It can be taken or given at any moment in time.
Fate can be patient, harsh or tremendous in deliverance.
Fate isn’t bias, has no strings attached except for what is perhaps a tremendous force of will power passed down from earths natural habitat.
Fate can form its habitual habits within nature by man or living force upon nature.
Fate can be glorious, or rather subtle and perhaps lenient to the eye of the beholder.
Fates boundaries shouldn’t tread lightly through abnormalities within circumstances in such divine ways.
After all, fate is free will through humanity.
Fate is passed down astronomically to future generations in hindsight, perhaps insight in creation of all things.
Fate is how we choose a formality in theory of all things.
Fate may become a way of life; habitual justification, philosophical and/ or spiritual growth.
Fate without just cause in its own unhealthy habitat within humanity may become dubious to envy, power, greed and/or glory.
Fate may at times become punitive, deferential and turbulent on cultures based on the wrath of haste or sometimes without rationale.
However, fate implores humanity not to define fate as a comparison to free will, nor brand insanity within itself.
After all, fate never cease to exist in circumstances beyond existences, nor without creation and life…
Copyright © by Marsha Beede
All Rights Reserved
I would like to give great thanks to #theemilyprogramfoundation for their dedication and amplifying awareness on Eating Disorders.
Behind the scenes I would like to send much gratitude to @SarahPray whom coordinated and dedicated a tremendous amount of time into this project by creating this window of opportunity towards awareness.
May communities be given the opportunity to challenge themselves without hesitation to speak out and breakdown stigmas because even in the most subtle ways, subtle times where one can perhaps remove barriers that keep a person stuck and isolated from sharing their experiences.
“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion and desire…”
Life isn’t set in stone, nor is there a single book out there to guide you through it. Life is going to happen whether you’re ready for it or not. Prevailing from downfalls during tough times can be costly towards a person’s quality of life if one is not prepared to face circumstances head-on. Whereas another may choose their own path with a more optimistic frame of mind towards achieving the best possible outcome.
Life is full of downfalls, as well, life can be very uplifting filled with joy, happiness and sometimes bring calm into our lives with simply feeling content. Life may feel humble or perhaps candid at times by placing differences aside with those we remain close to in our lives. We are given the greatest gift to acknowledge that we don’t have to stay down in a dark cloud of turmoil where at times life may feel overwhelming.
It’s up to each of us to figure out how to improve our situations that sometimes comes with limited knowledge or instructions.
We are often our worst critics and we may at times become very cynical of ourselves. Negative thinking may at times consume a person by simply spending too much time in their heads. It is within prompting events in our lives and/or unfortunate circumstances that we sometimes cave in or give up and lose faith within ourselves.
Often times we require more understanding within ourselves to break cycles and/or habits that sometimes keep us stuck. Whereas one were to acknowledge pros and cons to situations that come about in life, this may become ones greatest strengths; ones virtues within core values.
We become our worst enemy when we cannot find within good faith in ourselves and/or reasons to believe in a reasonable version of truth illustrated by ones thoughts. Downfalls within our emotions state sometimes tumble and spiral out of control.
Negative self-talk can lead a person to believe their situation warranted certain emotional responses. The question remains as to “what will it take to challenge a negative thought and replace it with a positive thought that we sometimes fall short upon?”
There are thousands of books, articles and web pages you can surf on topics that can shed some light on what might otherwise be reasons to believe. But if a person cannot absorb the information that is provided and truly understand what is being said without placing judgment on it, then the information becomes a lost cause. This may at times create unforeseen havoc in our daily lives.
A person can spend a lifetime living dormant while subconsciously creating what one believes to be true. It is possible without awareness to turn on a psychological automatic pilot through life’s journey. We may at times subconsciously be unaware of perceived illusions we’ve created within ourselves. We may challenge our belief system with judgments and lose sight by creating barriers from unforeseen truths.
Our reality created from within at times can mimic oblivious attempts to wash away or forget our sorrows. It may perhaps be attempts to make us feel better with some joy or happiness.
Decades can pass with attempts to justify possibly misconceptions that we may have leaded ourselves to believe. Perhaps it may have been family, friends or loved ones that lead a person to believe things we sometimes say or actions one has taken upon ones-self. Whereas if one were to acknowledge that perhaps communication sometimes fall short upon us all.
A great quote by Rainer Maria Rilke:
“Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty… Was it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words. “
Sometimes in life when we succumb so far into our own demise we will find ourselves in need to create a safe haven. It is in times of need we sometimes create notions within ourselves that we are helpless to overcome or embrace life’s challenges. At times we begin to feel and place thoughts in our minds that we couldn’t have gotten very far without the guidance of someone in our life.
Perhaps you have admiration for someone in your life and place them on a pedestal as a savior in some divine way. At times we may feel lost without someone significant in our lives. We may at times admire someone by creating a martyr effect from our thoughts and place them on a pedestal above with such greatness.
Religion and spiritual beliefs can be recognizing by those whom choose to practice within one’s own beliefs. Regardless of who may be your higher power, humanity wasn’t created, nor does it acknowledge any person to be supreme beings. We cannot allow ourselves to pass judgments upon ourselves when situations arise. Nor is it going to benefit anyone to place judgments on life’s downfalls, but rather we embrace each situation with a sense of acknowledgment.
Communication errors from written content may at times become a primary reason as to why it has become difficult to communicate effectively with others. It’s an unfortunate occurrence that may blind us further from truths. At times we may have felt too busy to return a call, responded in such swift and subtle ways. This can lead us to miscommunication where we at times limit our time rushing from one moment to the next.
Changing the way we communicate with others will help us to grow within terms we may have once established. Technology has accelerated rapidly. What may have been up to date two years ago may no longer be sufficient and up to date.
Having compassion to understand someone else’s needs and desire to communicate will require us to grow together as we continue to move forward. Life is a revolving door, compassion and understanding go both ways.
Fundamentally it does also require us to carry this same compassion and understanding within ourselves. This same basic concept would need to set forth to build and strengthen a solid foundation within ourselves.
Holistic Mind, Body & Spirit:
“Forgiveness through acceptance”
A quote by:
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly
“Nothing contributes so much to tranquillize the mind as a steady purpose-a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.”
A person can travel far pondering on the word “forgiveness.” For many defining the word forgiveness can be challenging within itself, stuck on a word that may be too heavy near someone’s heart. Perhaps forgiveness might capture a person’s inability to let go of emotions that may derive from unfortunate circumstances in their lives. Forgiveness may be hindered by ones emotions of events or perhaps misplaced projection of their failed attempts to attain a more meaningful outcome towards forgiveness.
It is often heard and understood that forgiveness comes from within. That forgiveness is to find strength carried out from within to achieve peace, solace and surrender to ones habitual ways. To allow ourselves to relieve burdens that may hinder us from moving forward. But sometimes finding forgiveness is easier said than done…
The question remains “when might it deem necessary to seek an alternative remedy towards forgiveness when it keeps someone stuck and unable to move forward?”
One might find themselves asking “is forgiveness possible or perhaps am I tranquilized by thoughts under the assumption everything should be forgivable?”
We’re reminded of these circumstance that hinder our ability to forgive, the amount of energy a person may consume within their thoughts may dwell or perhaps fester inside unable to achieve forgiveness sometimes stated by notions within ourselves.
Terminology at times can render a person to relieve these heavy burdens carried within when he/she can reason within their own core values. Sometimes memories of these circumstances become so heavy a person might find it difficult to live in the present moment on a day-to-day basis without emotions that may still fester, challenge persons will and desires to let go.
However it is sometimes found through transparency that perhaps forgiveness no longer becomes second nature to ones thoughts, but rather a person can perceive notions within themselves that allow them to heal through acceptance versus forgiveness…
It is often stated by others that when they are able to let go things that keep them stuck, it resembles as a feeling of weight that has been lifted off ones shoulders. Having that weight lifted off ones shoulders can be a life changing experience, sighs of relief, finding peace within ones emotional and physical state.
Finding forgiveness is essentially an outcome we long to achieve. Where forgiveness might hinder someone’s ability to achieve this state of emotional and/or physical wellness, they may find the term “acceptance” to be effective approach towards forgiveness. Attain the ability to define oneself and to relieve an emotional state that may keep one stuck…
Copyright © 2014 by Marsha Beede
All Rights Reserved
Part 2 for this article is linked at http://marshabeedematrix.com
When you can rise above the surface with satisfaction versus vengeful emotions, settle upon knowing you can make a difference. Your free will within integrity sends a message within strength that is stronger than falling below the surface…
#Enough, Can’t you hear the kids scream…? IN-Q says it all