“If We Agree, Then Why Are We Arguing?”


If we agree, then why are we arguing?

Locked in different brain patterns of thinking can cause quite a headache if not conscientiously aware enough to stop it in its tracks…

This article will illustrate examples of common functions in communication errors that we sometimes overlook. Communication can cause a lot of misfortune, misunderstandings that sometimes were never there to begin with.

Why should 2+2=4 more so than 1+3?

There is no burden of truth nor a right or wrong answer.

This might seem pretty simple right?

Cars and communication can carry some very similar factors. Your car may be making some strange noises, rattling or perhaps guzzling gas and you’re wondering what to do? Do you sit with these strange noises? Let it keep rattling till it drives you crazy. Perhaps the gas is burning more than it should and it becomes rather bothersome.

Communication in relationships can be very similar to cars. Now you’re probably thinking “what on earth are you talking about?” Maybe one might be intrigued by this scenario and as I continue as not all things appear the same.

Countless times I’ve found myself arguing over something we agree upon but then get hung up on communication barriers, saying the same thing but five different ways.

Catching these moments where communication shouldn’t seem so difficult can be harder than it may seem when you come upon someone whom may not have the same thinking pattern.

Our thought process are unique to our own individuality…

I often reference the word “Brain lock” in my writing because this is what our brains do at times. This doesn’t reflect right nor wrong, it doesn’t reflect intelligence, nor a person’s character. Simply said is we are all a reflection to ourselves, how we perceive things in life, thought patterns that may justify who we are. Our brain chemistry are hardwire in such divine ways that no thought pattern is the same, only similarities carry common factors.

Neurotransmitters in our bodies have always been intriguing because even the slightest change in a person’s diet can send one into a tailspin when it comes to changes in mood and our bodies. We carry more neurotransmitters in our stomach, our digestive track than we do in our brains. Our bodies communicate on various levels from head to toe. Just as a car needs fuel, our bodies carry that same factor.

One could have the slightest snarling pain to cause one to become distracted and lose focus. Perhaps a loved one lives with chronic pain because this too may displace communication. Communication is essential to our everyday lives. How we utilize our communication skills matters significantly.

I once had the opportunity to sit at a concert next to a woman who had late onset Alzheimer’s and appeared to be unable to communicate. However, something caught my eye and helped me to realize not all things appear to be as what it might seem. There she rested next to me with her feet bobbin to the beat of the song the band was playing.

There are many ways to illustrate communication far and in between…

Relationships take time, patience and effort beyond basic understanding. Communication isn’t bias nor a rebound of endless equations that sometimes get us stuck on 2+2 or however 4 may come about. We are all built on a foundation that requires communication on various levels. No stone can be unturned without willingness to try. To create a deeper understanding we need to move beyond what we know, find a way to set aside what we know and be willing to listen, ask questions and keep asking until something we hear, feel or notice changes how we see things

One day I decided to run errands and stopped in a Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. While I was shopping I noticed a woman struggling, going up and down an aisle looking at all the hygiene products. I truly felt her emotions from a short distance as I began to walk down the aisle passing on by. However she tapped me on my shoulder from behind. I turned to see what she may have wanted but soon noticed she didn’t speak English. I stood there as she made gestures in ways to communicate.

Communication can be the most daring of truth…

I knew her pain from having a lifetime of communication barriers. Living with a profound hearing loss requires modifying how I communicate with others. We worked through our communication barriers with a lot of hand gestures, taking items on and off the shelves that day. She left with a better understanding of products without the use of verbal communication.

Unlocking the use of our brains can sometimes becomes an habitual state of being, a mode we become accustom to driving on automatic pilot; a comfort zone beyond reasoning, rationalizing and often overlooked. One where at times these patterns can wreak havoc in our everyday lives without a second guess as to why things appear to stay the same.

Just as cars can become unmanageable, mimic different reasoning’s as we begin to explore the idea of how complex the problem might be. Your car may be making some strange noises, rattling or perhaps guzzling gas and you’re wondering what to do? Do you sit with these strange noises? Let it keep rattling till it drives you crazy. Perhaps the gas is burning more than it should and it becomes rather bothersome. We begin to ponder, become fixated, annoyed and agonized with endless or clueless understandings, beyond recognizing what might become reality.

Now imagine this car is someone significant in your life….

This is your brain working overtime…

The car is a metaphor…

Or maybe one might still be pondering?…

Whereas there is nothing more divine than communication in itself…

 

MB

2 thoughts on ““If We Agree, Then Why Are We Arguing?”

  1. Pingback: “If We Agree, Then Why Are We Arguing?” | Marsha Beede

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